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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

1/31/2007 12:11:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

2006 was very still for me. I am really excited to step into 2007 becos i know it will be different. I prayed that i will get closer to god. First of all, i wanna be close to my spirit man. I prayed for renewal of a steadfast spirit. One that will be sensitive. One that is alive.

Then god places me to work with children - Nursery and NUH children ward. Initially, i simply just want to serve in god's house so i serve in nursery. I never expect myself to handle kids but i took on the role as a core teacher becos it sounds fun to work with children. Heex. Like rou'en said, when we serve in god's house, we will grow in him. God really rewards me. I can see and feel myself growing already in just 3 weeks. I am becoming more sensitive to my holy spirit.

I think god's idea to place me with kids is to renew my spirit man. Children have very sensitive spirits. Super super sensitive. During my 2nd week in N2, a kid cried suddenly and went on crying for quite a while. With all my human wisdom, i thought of ways to coax him. When we (all children and helpers) finally settled down for worship, i prayed over all the children and from then till the end of the session, none of the kids cried at all. Children can feel things that we, adults may not feel. I want my spirit man to be that sensitive.

Today in NUH, (i think i sound ridiculous but,) i feel like an angel. Surprisingly, the kids love me. I approached them and they approached me. I feel very welcomed. This particular girl called seline caught my eye. I went up to her bed and cheerfully greeted her. She saw me coming and she stretched her hands to want to hug me. She shouted her name to me when i asked her for her name. Then i realised she is actually intellectually disabled. The other 2 volunteers joined me and soon we were playing monopoly with her entire family. Everyone was crowding around her but i felt there were distance. I sat beside her and she clinged on to me throughout the game. She gave me occasional hugs and mumbled some words that everyone seem to ignore. While everyone was concentrating on the game, my attention was all on her. She is imperfect but yet perfect. I just feel that she is highly favoured by god. It wasn't the feeling of pity. It was really the feeling of love. Simple and pure love for that little one.

During the game, she suddenly cried and left everyone stunned becos it was too sudden. Then her mummy and i tried to coax her. I just pat her and asked jesus to calm her down. I didnt even say it out verbally. It was in my heart and she just stopped crying. Isn't it amazing? NUH is very different from nursery. These children are not christians and they probably havent hear about jesus yet. But she feels god. His peace. His comfort. I feel like an angel. God's angel. It's god's reward.

I feel him. I sense him. It just feels great. I just feel so blessed. So blessed over and over again.

Monday, January 29, 2007

1/29/2007 12:24:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I want a simple christian wake when i die. No gongs and chants but worship songs. I want photos of me and my family and friends around me.

*** ***
Chinese new year is coming! Steamboat for CNY's eve. Heex. My mummy cooks the best stock ever. =D

Saturday, January 27, 2007

1/27/2007 11:21:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I like to start everyday afresh, anew. Cos each day is special and precious. So precious that a spoilt yesterday cannot take it away.

I was on my way to church today and some nasty kids made some not-so-nice comments about moi. Boo. I was upset and hurt of course. On one hand, i was cursing in my heart "stupid kids", on the other hand, i was telling god to teach me to forgive em and bless em. How irony. Forgiving is indeed not an easy task. Not even for a nice person like me. =D It took me 2 hours to forgive them. I wasnt really boiling inside but i was very hurt.

In this life, there will be hurt. People who are dear to u can hurt u. People whom you never know can hurt u. Being hurt is not a good feeling. It makes us upset. It makes us cry. It makes us so vulnerable. Sometimes i wonder how god's creation can be so insensitive. That includes me. I think being hurt is such a nasty feeling. I cant imagine how much hurt god has to bear. I must have hurt him at times too. =(

So much about hurt. This feeling is not for eternal. We will get over this phase when we forgive wholeheartedly. The scar will still be there. But i hope this scar will not be a scar of unhappiness. Sometimes gathering these many scars, you can see how much u hv gone tru and survived. I guess that is what god really meant for us to learn.

Anyway, i am not upset le. But neither do i want to be reminded of what the kids said. So dun ask me wor. =)

*** ***
This semester's workload is very heavy! So many things to do. On top of schoolwork, will be serving nursery twice a month and volunteering at NUH every tues. And meeting friends.

*** ***
Exclusive versus Inclusive.

Sometimes even in the company of friends, I still feel excluded. I am a sensitive person. I am glad god makes me sensitive. I can note out people who are feeling not so comfortable. I can relate. I can try to understand. I can try to do something about it.

*** ***
Heex. Too tired to go on! Had so many random thoughts. Shall leave it hanging as it is. Haha.

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

1/24/2007 11:11:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

It's the feeling of love and LOVE and more LOVE each day!! =)

Phebe made herbal chicken soup for the entire cell yesterday. Yums Yums. She carefully brewed it for 3 hours. So blessed and loved.

Today, sharon made chicken soup too! Actually, it's supposed to be for wings as their 4th month anniversay surprise. But she lovingly saved a bowl for me (with a chicken drum) and came down to sch earlier so i could have it warm. Thankew! =D

So blessed each day. Happier each day. =D

PS: weilin, u got me boxes right?? =P

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

1/23/2007 10:34:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

June (chin) called me on sunday afternoon when she was under my block to ask me down for a chat. Unfortunately, i was outside so couldnt meet her. She said that she just thought of me and wanted to meet.

=)

I am so happy. So happy to receive her call. Cos i havent seen her for very long. She's a really precious friend. Girl, I am meeting you very soon!

Nothing pleases me more than friends who remember and care for me. =D

Zhen is very happy.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

1/20/2007 11:14:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

Jesus, i have a very simple wish. Because you never reject me, i am certain my wish will come through.

2007 doesnt seem to start off very well for some friends. I want my friends to find hope in this new year. Because i do feel that it is a year of hope.

I am at the last chapter of my academic year. I am looking forward to open another new volume of my life. But this year, i am determine to enjoy my final year to the fullest. The previous graduations (sec and poly), I wanted to keep my precious friends with me. If I could, i would like to put em into my pocket. But zhen cannot be selfish. We have to move on so that we can experience the more beautiful stories ahead. We have to encounter the different ppl who will cross our paths. Because each individual makes a difference. They add colours to the already well painted drawing.

To my different friends (pri, sec, poly and uni), I pray that in this season, you guys will stay happy in whatever you do. Whether you are working or studying, life is not a rountine unless you let it be. It can be even more colourful if you take that effort to draw more strokes onto the picture. Buried whatever that is behind and start painting the story you want it to be. Don't let troubles pin you down. You may not be able to rub off that stain, paint something over it. With bright new colurs, you can turn a bad drawing into a masterpiece. It all begin in yourself. Sometimes, you need a bit of time to pick yourself up. Take it as a period to think over your painting. You hold the various crayons on your hand. It can be done.

When we lose something, god returns us threefold what we lost.

God, give each friend fresh new hope in life. =D

1/20/2007 01:37:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

harlow guys!!

hehe.. i think this is my 1st posting for the brand new year.. havent really been blogging because i was too lazy and busy to do so.. haha

having attachment this semester at AMT which is located in Tuas and i'll be there for 22 weeks. 2 weeks has since passed and i'm enjoying working there! (at least for now). my collegues and friends there are pretty nice and helpful.and this really make working there more enjoyable! =)

but everyday is just work and no play.. pretty sad man.. i still miss student life.. haha.. can pon lessons (especially morning lectures) when u dont feel like waking up so early.. *sob* detest waking up so early in the morning 7+am sia!!! haha.. that's when i miss school the most! *evil grin*

nevertheless... everything's pretty smooth and happy! hopefully my IA there will be a great and enjoyable experience! i wonder what kind of individual projects we have to do at work man.. kinda scary.. dont know can make it anot.. *keeping fingers crossed*

and i wanna go on a holiday too!!!!!! *awaiting*

To Zhen: yesh!!! i want HK too!! wahaha!

*fen*

Friday, January 19, 2007

1/19/2007 09:57:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

According to Sternberg's trigangular theory, love has 3 aspects - Intimacy, Passion and Commitment.

Intimacy is the emotional element. It involves self disclosure, which leads to connection, warmth and trust.

Passion is the motivational element. It is based on inner drives.

Commitment is the cognitive element which is the decision to love and to stay with the beloved.

Short term relationship means you are in love while long term love is nuturing relationship to marriage.

I learnt this in a level 2 social work module - human development over the lifespan, 2 semesters ago. I thought it would be useful for us to understand different concepts of the human behaviour. It will help one to better understand what love is all about. Reduce confusion. Reduce the possibility of hurting someone or being hurt.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

1/14/2007 11:50:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

Attended Xinyu's 21st bday celebration at serangoo cc. Very far neh. Furthermore, i was late and made my friends waited for me. Sorry guys! Shall post some of the pics once i transferred em. =) I made a slideshow for the bday girl. I think it is really pretty.

***
I wanna go hongkong!

***

Fen MIA hor. Cos she is having attachment now. She needs beauty sleep. Plus she's a lazy bum. =D

***

I really wanna go hongkong. =)

1/14/2007 11:30:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I adore this picture. It's "Zhen the motorcyclist". =D

Saturday, January 13, 2007

1/13/2007 12:45:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

Weilin and I went trekking at Bt timah last holiday. Hehe. We took the silliest pictures. But it was great fun. =)

Monday, January 08, 2007

1/08/2007 11:34:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I am really excited about school. I wanna thank god for favour cos i got all the modules i want for this semester despite the numerous technical breakdowns of CORS.

I spent 52bucks on bus concession and 12bucks on coursepack. Expecting to spend alot more bucks on textbooks.

Still, begin school with anticipation! Look forth!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

1/06/2007 02:33:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I love my friends.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

1/03/2007 03:05:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

Who am I besides the one who smiles and listens?

Who will listen to the listener?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

1/02/2007 12:23:00 AM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

I suddenly realised i will be 22 this year.

Monday, January 01, 2007

1/01/2007 01:45:00 PM Y

Post title :

♥ You'll never know the real me.

=2h3n=

Blessed 2007 peeps!!! =D May u guys - all my darlings and friends, be showered with much joy, fun and hope in this new year. I am super happy and excited abt this new year. Lets all forget the past and charge forward with new hope and faith. When we meet challenges, may we all faced em with a positive attitude.

*** *** *** *** *** ***

It was watchnight service at church last night - 31st December 2006.

My eyes. I thought of posting this pic to illustrate watchnight. Lame Zhen. But anyway, it is a Trinity's tradition to ursher the new year as a church. We called it the "watchnight service".

Trinity @ Paya Lebar. Our new building where we had our watchnight service. The current center @ adam road is still there. We are expanding our territories. So, Zhen and a group of others have shifted to Paya Lebar. For a westerner to get use to the East aint easy. I need a little bit of time to adjust to the travelling time. Still, it's exciting to be in the new premise.

We had communion and then dinner @ a mini coffeeshop near church. The food is passable. Not the best though.

Ta-da!! We went back ard 8pm and there was a looooooooong queue outside the chapel already. Watchnight was supposed to start at 930pm. When we got into the chapel, it was nearly 70% filled.

So we comfortably settled ourselves on the steps. We have nice carpeted steps to sit on. Some snapshots before the service starts.

Guess who i spotted??? Just a couple of steps behind us were two children stars who acted in channel 8 dramas. The cute little one is the who starred in 'The tree' with Zoe Tay. Hoho. We have quite a few celebrities in Trinity.

A snapshot of em.

Blessed 2007 folks! It will be a great year. Cheers!