Monday, December 12, 2005
12/12/2005 12:37:00 AM Y
Post title :
♥ You'll never know the real me.
=2h3n=
I m no venting machine. How much is integrity worth these days? The price of Christ aint cheap. I want to preserve my integrity for Christ.
Out of no reasons, my mummy scolded me today. It started because my younger bro lost his temper on her. My mummy failed to appease him n started complaining to me. Of cos i listened. I tried to help filling in a bursary form for my younger bro which my mum has been urging me to do so. There is a criteria that one household income must not exceed S$400. So i told my mum. Then i got scolded for being too honest. I wun be sued for filling in a lower figures so we can get the money and i wun go far in the society holding on to my stupid integrity. Then my mum said this is what church has done to me. Listening to too many sermons made me dumb. If church asked me to eat shit, i probably will. I m infillial. I listen to god and not her.
I kept quiet tru'out. I was boiling inside but i told god, patience. I went back to my rm n started crying. I listen to god above the church. I felt as if everything was screwed up. I did nothing wrong in the first place. I wish my mum stopped being bias to daughters and pampered the sons when all they noe was to lose their temper. I am a good 20 yr old young adult. I can think. I dun nid my mum to tell me how stupid i am and all the yrs of education has gone into waste. I hv the right to make choices. N given my wisdom and once a business student with past experiences, i do understand how dis fallen world functions. I hv choices, don't i? I chose to obey god and stood by wat is righteous to god. To the world, it meant stupidity. What does the world knows anyway? What is wisdom?
I understand my mum was juz venting her anger on me. Honestly, i do not appreciate being a venting machine. I felt upset that my mum and my family nvr understand me. Y is worldly possessions so impt? Y is money so impt? I can forsake the money i hv. I can gv my mum all d money she wants. But is that happiness? Money brings about so much misery to my family. Proverty comes thereafter and hatred follows. God, there is nothing i can do. Bcos i m not god. I can only stand with u n trust that u deliver my family out of hatred and misery.
from: mini cooper's official website